Tag: Marriage
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Three areas of Life
Chad Warner, addiction counselor, was speaking recently. He said, “You must work on three areas of your life. The three areas include; Spiritual Care, Self Care, and Marital Care.” Here’s my take on those three areas. Spiritual Care We are spiritual beings. We need a spiritual program. That program must explain life, death, purpose and…
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Different Kind of Damaged Wife
A husband once said, “Can I get a different kind of damaged wife? This relationship is too hard! Can I get an easier assignment? This one is above my pay grade.” We both laughed. I’m sure every husband (and wife) has had that thought at least once in their married lifetime. Why is marriage so…
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I Feel used and Abused
“Please comfort me.” She said. “I feel used and abused by others. Work. Traffic. Aging. Please comfort me.” She is asking her husband to use his soothing skills. (Here are some examples of soothing) -Use your words- “I’m sorry you are going through that.” -Use your touch….. Reach for her and stroke her. -Use your…
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Why Must I Change?
After 25 years of marriage a husband made these comments. I have been the same for the last 50 years. I learned to live independent during a hard childhood. The way I have acted has helped me survive my childhood, difficult teenage years, and military service. Being strong and private has served me well. Why…
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Married and Disconnected
WHY WOULD ANYONE LIVE DISCONNECTED IN A GOOD MARRIAGE? Everyone wants more love! If, you were made by love and for love why would you live disconnected? Here is a list of reasons why a spouse, living in a good marriage, would still live disconnected. THE EARLY YEARS -Your parents were poorly attached to each…
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50% Connected?
Are you 50% connected to your spouse? Are you 100% emotionally connected? Or, are you somewhere in between? HERE IS THE CRITERIA FOR MAKING A 50% EMOTIONAL CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE. 1 . Have a wedding ceremony. 2 . Hold a title. e.g., Husband or Wife 3 . Work outside the home as a provider.…
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Sharing Deep Dialogue
Great relationships are the result of two individuals sharing, deep dialogue. Here are some deep, dialogue, starter statements. ABOUT self- -Something good that happened today is…. -Today, I am grateful for…. -I am hopeful when…. -It makes me happy when….. -A dream I have is…. ABOUT God- -God has blessed me…. -I saw God at…
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Simple or Deep Change
Simple change or Deep change? I spoke to a guy once, he’d been in counseling for one month. He was bragging. “Everything is fixed. We are all better. All is so good. We fixed our marriage!” So, I asked. What did you change? His response, “Nothing! I just stopped arguing. I’m keeping more stuff to…
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A New Start
Im trying a new strategy in my marriage. I know the bible says don’t go to bed angry. I must confess I have failed in that area. The bible also says, God’s love is new every morning. So, I am trying to walk in His fresh, new, love every morning. Now, each morning, I wake…
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Great Marriage
What does it take to have a great emotional marriage? Two things. You need two safe, growing, individuals. Then, you need a safe place for those two individuals to work on personal growth–together. Any out of control behavior challenges emotional safety. Your mission is to walk in spiritual wisdom and emotional disciple. In the past…
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A Safe Place
I went to a seminar yesterday. The speaker said, “marriage is were two individuals try to create a safe space and help each other with individual growth”. Meaning – It was a light bulb moment!!! How can the above two things happen if either spouse is stuck (not changing) OR out of control? If, one…