Equipping Christian Men for Richer Relationships

Simple change or Deep change?

I spoke to a guy once, he’d been in counseling for one month.

He was bragging. “Everything is fixed. We are all better. All is so good. We fixed our marriage!”

So, I asked. What did you change?

His response, “Nothing! I just stopped arguing. I’m keeping more stuff to myself. And, I’m not pointing out, to her, how she is such a poor communicator.”

Simple change means making some adjustments like those above.

Deep Change includes the following.

Creating an emotionally, safe place. (That’s where two different individuals talk through their differences.) Opening up and being vulnerable, verbalizing fears and doubts. Grieving together through disappointments and loss. Expressing deep needs. Talking about feeling alone. Sharing wants. Telling your spouse things you’ve never shared before. And, praying together. Asking God for wisdom and insights.


Father, you are good, deep, peaceful, and one. Make me like you. Amen.

PS If no one is there for you, make Abba, Jesus and Holy Comforter your growth partner’s


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