Tag: Emotions
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Listen to Me
Do you want to help me, learn me? If so, you must “listen.” And, I mean listen a lot and talk a little. Listening is the skill of, you getting out of my way.Talking is the skill of me, figuring something out.When I’m talking to you, I am also learning about myself. Here’s the me-talking,…
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Don’t Be A Burden
Here is ONE, big reason a husband might not make an emotional connection to his wife. “I do not want to burden her.” This statement includes a thought and a belief for emotional survival. Where does this thought originate? Part One Growing up, Mom’s life was hard. Mom and dad fought. I saw mom grieve,…
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Why is it Hard to Express Myself?
Recently, I’ve been asking, why is it so hard to express myself? MY GROWING UP YEARS Growing up, we were not an emotional family. As children we knew to never express emotions. Emotional words were only used to call you names. And, after the name calling, family members were encouraged to laugh at you. There…
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Handling major, negative life events
When major, negative, life events occur, two outcomes are possible. 1. You experience damage to your soul. Next, you shape your life from that emotional damage. Finally, you begin to demonstrate unhealthy, emotional actions and behaviors (Anger, control, defensiveness, etc.). 2. You experience emotional damage. Afterwards, you dig in deeply and do emotional-spiritual recovery work.…
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Growth at 9 to 12 Months
Nine months into an emotional growth journey a man starts sharing these kinds of thoughts: …that, in reference to your former way of life, you are to rid yourselves of the old self, which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit, and that you are to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on…
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Failure and Panic
Why do thoughts of failure cause panic? Here are some ideas on failure. Failure can be a small mistake that only you know about, or it can be a traumatic public event with devastating consequences. What if you have failed a thousand times before you turned 18? (Small failures and large ones.) And, as a…
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Fear Failure
A friend asked, “Why do I fear failure so much?” What a wonderful question. Here are three thoughts. 1 . The language of failure is painful and cuts deeply. “You are such a screw up!” “Loser!” “What’s wrong with you?” “Are you stupid?” 2 . In life you must answer a few, very basic questions.…
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Three areas of Life
Chad Warner, addiction counselor, was speaking recently. He said, “You must work on three areas of your life. The three areas include; Spiritual Care, Self Care, and Marital Care.” Here’s my take on those three areas. Spiritual Care We are spiritual beings. We need a spiritual program. That program must explain life, death, purpose and…
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Why I ask you…
When I ask you, about you, you get mad. When I ask you how come you don’t exercise more? You get mad? When I ask you about your unhealthy eating habits. You get mad. When I ask, Did you get that chore done? You get mad. When I ask you, about your plan to save…
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The Problem today…
Building on yesterday’s thought.) Review The Son/Husband built an emotional system for his mother and is now using it on his wife. His Rule: Don’t burden mom or wife. Keep all negative emotions to yourself. The Problem Today If he shut down emotionally at age 8. And, he’s now 38. Then he’s 30 years behind…
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Growing up shaped you
What if a young, son saw his mother struggling? Maybe, dad worked a lot, traveled regularly, or just left the family. And, mom daily complained about her heavy, sad life and how she can’t get everything done. Her son hears her sadness and comes up with a plan. He decides not be a burden to…
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Two Emotional Battles
In life you have two emotional battles you must win.