Tag: Emotions
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Why do we Fall?
Most of us have old emotional areas we battle and struggle to surrender to the spiritual. When you are emotionally hindered, find yourself stuck, or worse–break down, even though you still love Jesus, it’s your emotional program that needs work.
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Two Emotional Programs
I’ve noticed something from years of counseling. Here’s my observation: Healthy adults have developed a second emotional program. Or, said differently, struggling adults only have one emotional program.
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Helping Men Navigate between Logic and Emotion
Generally, the majority of men are very comfortable when communicating logic and solving problems, but very uncomfortable and unfamiliar with communicating emotion. This often results in them becoming stunted or stuck in their relational skills, especially in marriage.
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The Pattern
If there was a pattern to one’s emotional development it would look like this. You start as a curios child with an innocent heart. You laugh, play and explore with great passion. Then, trauma happens and it changes everything.-You learn you will need protection from the pain caused by others. So, you divide yourself. You…
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Loved Well
What if you do a review of your life and this is your conclusion.“I HAVE NEVER BEEN LOVED WELL!” That is a sad statement.And, an honest, deep, struggle-filled statement. SAD- because it carries a longing and an unmet ache. INSIGHTFUL- because now you have verbalized a driving, inner need. ADDITIONALLY- on the inside, you are…
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Listen to Me
Do you want to help me, learn me? If so, you must “listen.” And, I mean listen a lot and talk a little. Listening is the skill of, you getting out of my way.Talking is the skill of me, figuring something out.When I’m talking to you, I am also learning about myself. Here’s the me-talking,…
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Don’t Be A Burden
Here is ONE, big reason a husband might not make an emotional connection to his wife. “I do not want to burden her.” This statement includes a thought and a belief for emotional survival. Where does this thought originate? Part One Growing up, Mom’s life was hard. Mom and dad fought. I saw mom grieve,…
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Why is it Hard to Express Myself?
Recently, I’ve been asking, why is it so hard to express myself? MY GROWING UP YEARS Growing up, we were not an emotional family. As children we knew to never express emotions. Emotional words were only used to call you names. And, after the name calling, family members were encouraged to laugh at you. There…
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Handling major, negative life events
When major, negative, life events occur, two outcomes are possible. 1. You experience damage to your soul. Next, you shape your life from that emotional damage. Finally, you begin to demonstrate unhealthy, emotional actions and behaviors (Anger, control, defensiveness, etc.). 2. You experience emotional damage. Afterwards, you dig in deeply and do emotional-spiritual recovery work.…
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Growth at 9 to 12 Months
Nine months into an emotional growth journey a man starts sharing these kinds of thoughts: …that, in reference to your former way of life, you are to rid yourselves of the old self, which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit, and that you are to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on…
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Failure and Panic
Why do thoughts of failure cause panic? Here are some ideas on failure. Failure can be a small mistake that only you know about, or it can be a traumatic public event with devastating consequences. What if you have failed a thousand times before you turned 18? (Small failures and large ones.) And, as a…
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Fear Failure
A friend asked, “Why do I fear failure so much?” What a wonderful question. Here are three thoughts. 1 . The language of failure is painful and cuts deeply. “You are such a screw up!” “Loser!” “What’s wrong with you?” “Are you stupid?” 2 . In life you must answer a few, very basic questions.…