I’ve noticed something from years of counseling. Here’s my observation:
Healthy adults have developed a second emotional program.
Or, said differently, struggling adults only have one emotional program.
Your first program was developed in childhood. It was the program you developed while living with your mom and dad, and growing up with other hurtful and immature kids.
Here are some broad examples:
Example #1
First Program- (Childhood)
Your mother was controlling. To avoid conflict you stayed quiet. You said very little.
Second program- (Adult)
You get married. You need to confront your husband. So, you find your voice and start speaking up.
Example #2
Your dad was a critical and judgmental man. And, the neighborhood kids tormented you.
First Program- (Childhood)
You call yourself names. You believe you are defective. And, you don’t even like yourself much.
Second Program- (Adult)
As an adult you recognize you have skills, talents, and abilities. You shift your view and start seeing yourself as good. And, you start being kind and enjoying yourself.
Example #3
Anger was a theme in your house growing up. If your mom or dad got upset they vented it out on everyone.
First Program- (Childhood)
When you get hurt or disappointed, you use anger. Anger helps you vent out your pain on others.
Second Program- (Adult)
You’ve worked on your anger. Now, when you get disappointed or let down by someone, you immediately repeat the words “rest, rest, rest.”
Bible Verse
Jesus said. “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” (That is a second program he offers.)
Matthew 11:28 (NIV)
Prayer
Jesus you are all about giving us a second program. Thank you for making us whole. Amen