If there was a pattern to one’s emotional development it would look like this.
You start as a curios child with an innocent heart. You laugh, play and explore with great passion.
Then, trauma happens and it changes everything.
-You learn you will need protection from the pain caused by others. So, you divide yourself. You seem present to others but inside you are emotionally detached.
-Since you can’t hurt the person or persons who hurt you, instead you turn on yourself. You start blaming, shaming and being critical of self.
-Finally, when an individual experiences trauma they often pick one of these two unhealthy, emotional tools.
A VICE- (Used to self protect)
Vices include; control, worry, anger, perfectionism etc.
Or, an ADDICTION- (used to escape pain)
Addictions include drinking, drugs, porn, overspending, overeating etc.
As you reflect on your life from the beginning you see how much has changed. That young, innocent child-part of yourself is no where to found. In his place is a burdened, sad, emotionally confused grown up.
Further, you realize your current emotional program can’t take you to where you really want to go. You want peace, rest and joy.
So, what happens next?
You cry out to God for help. You pray for wisdom. And, you set out on an Emotional Growth mission.
Blessings on your journey. Amen