Building on yesterday’s thought.)
The Son/Husband built an emotional system for his mother and is now using it on his wife.
His Rule: Don’t burden mom or wife. Keep all negative emotions to yourself.
The Problem Today
If he shut down emotionally at age 8. And, he’s now 38. Then he’s 30 years behind in emotional development. He’s not good in difficult emotional conversations. A hurting, angry wife turns to her husband and says, “What do you think?”
He glazes over, stumbles and stutters. Then, he starts talking like a 8 year old boy in trouble.
His wife responds. “Who are you? I need you right now. Go find your strength. Bring out your manhood. Step into your “Comforter” role. Be what I need right now!”
CONTRAST THAT STORY with a recent wife comment.
(Her husband has been working on spiritual/emotional growth for almost one year.)
“He’s changed so much. He doesn’t run away, glaze over, or get angry like before. He’s talking more. We read together. Everyday we spend time talking and going through the bible or a workbook. The other day he just burst into laughter. It stunned me. I’m finally getting the husband I always wanted.”
Jesus called a little child to him and put the child among them. Then he said, “I tell you the truth, unless you turn from your sins and become like little children, you will never get into the Kingdom of Heaven. So anyone who becomes as humble as this little child is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven.Matthew 18:2-4 (NLT)
Unless you change your whole outlook and become like little children (open and trainable) you cannot enter the kingdom of heaven.
Father, bless us as we reclaim innocence, openness and laughter. Amen