Author: Stephen Cervantes
-
Simple or Deep Change
Simple change or Deep change? I spoke to a guy once, he’d been in counseling for one month. He was bragging. “Everything is fixed. We are all better. All is so good. We fixed our marriage!” So, I asked. What did you change? His response, “Nothing! I just stopped arguing. I’m keeping more stuff to…
-
A New Start
Im trying a new strategy in my marriage. I know the bible says don’t go to bed angry. I must confess I have failed in that area. The bible also says, God’s love is new every morning. So, I am trying to walk in His fresh, new, love every morning. Now, each morning, I wake…
-
Great Marriage
What does it take to have a great emotional marriage? Two things. You need two safe, growing, individuals. Then, you need a safe place for those two individuals to work on personal growth–together. Any out of control behavior challenges emotional safety. Your mission is to walk in spiritual wisdom and emotional disciple. In the past…
-
A Safe Place
I went to a seminar yesterday. The speaker said, “marriage is were two individuals try to create a safe space and help each other with individual growth”. Meaning – It was a light bulb moment!!! How can the above two things happen if either spouse is stuck (not changing) OR out of control? If, one…
-
Finish Strong
Be what God created you to be? Don’t die a wounded, angry, confused, performing, perfectionist! We all saw how well that turned out. We saw how each one of us got stuck and how our stuntedness has hurt us. It has also hurt our spouses/girlfriends and our relationships. Time to start moving forward again. No…
-
Kill What’s Killing You
How do you kill the thing that is killing you? The thing that is killing your soul is self-condemnation. And, why would you not be in the habit of self condemnation? Someone once said, “You will be condemned 1,000 times for messing up and failing.” Wow… Now, add to that thought, this rule: First, YOU…
-
No More Self-Condemnation!
No more self-condemnation! Can you speak kind and helpful words over yourself? Can you be encouraging of yourself? Do you forgive yourself easily? Do you ever break out into laughter at your own imperfections? Being kind and supportive of yourself is critical. It is essential to the goal of enjoying your life. We are told to live…
-
Knowing Your Emotions
When it comes to emotions, most people only see parts of their own emotional system. They have never mapped out their own emotional system. Meaning, they do not understand how all the parts fit together.
-
Leaders are readers
There is a great saying, “Leaders are Readers.” And let me add, men who read, especially about emotional growth, make great leaders.
-
The difference between your role and your identity
Our identity comes from our creator. He describes himself as the greatest lover. We are made in His image. The father designed our hearts and minds for love. We are made for relationships, love, and a love story.
-
The Big Lie
The big lie is not what we tell others, it’s what we tell ourselves. I love to think about emotions. I love reading about emotional health. And, I love listening to people’s emotional language and beliefs. My hope is that everyone begins or continues working on emotional health and growth. I recently heard this statement…
-
Learning about ourselves and others
Learning ourselves and others is full of excitement. “There are things that we don’t know that we don’t know.” Donald Rumsfeld This quote excites and terrifies me. It excites me because if you don’t know something there is always time to learn it. And, if there is something I did not know, but I am…