What are God’s men called to do when a wife enters into emotional pain? How should he handle himself? What should he think, do, and say?
A mature husband has a full toolbox of skills. Dealing with the pain of another person is important. It is most important when your wife is venting off her emotional pain.
THINK
This is a spiritual and emotional battle. She is battling on three fronts. She is struggling with herself, God, and some of your immature, offensive behaviors. She is trying to find a way to rebalance herself. She’s wrestling with her thinking, God’s thinking, her behaviors, and your behaviors.
Remember, this is not your battle. You are the wingman. Stand there and let her vent.
FEEL
Sit on your own pain. You will be triggered and flood. You will think your whole manhood and character is under attack. It is not! Ask God to help you and her with her pain. And, let your mature man part quiet the scared boy part that is screaming inside you.
Don’t dominate her conversation with your explanations, logic, hurt feelings or justification. Stand in support.
D0
- Pray for wisdom.
- Whisper to yourself “breathe.” Then, take a deep breath. Hold. Release. Repeat several times. Do this as she vents out her pain.
- Stay close. Stand with her and for her.
SAY
Say supportive comments. Not at first, but towards the second half of the conversation. Towards the end of her expressing herself. Sprinkle in comments like the ones below:
- I am sorry you are going through all that.
- That’s a lot to carry.
- Thanks for sharing with me.
- I am sorry for my part in causing you pain.
Finally, break into prayer and lift up her disappointment, sadness, and pain to the heavenly Father.
Prayer
Father, help me be wise in the midst of my wife’s emotional pain. Help me not get in your way or her way. Help me. I have often messed up in this area. Please grow me. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
Bible Connection
We are told when the day of spiritual battle arrives. Armor up. Then take your stand.
Read Ephesians 6:13-14
Emotional Application
When your wife is fighting her battle,
Armor up!
Bring your best tools.
Then stand!
With her and for her.