Thoughts

Albert Bandura, Psychologist is credited with developing this term, “Human Agency.” (Or, “Agency” for short.) Agency includes how you act, think and interact with life. There are four parts to the definition of agency: Pay special attention to number four. Why am I writing about Agency? Because, you have one life to live. Running a…

On your Christian walk you will have many decisions. But, there is one major emotional-spiritual decision: You will either wrap yourself in God’s love and find rest. Or, you will decide to “perform” to earn your love. If you pick a performing lifestyle, your life will have some thrills but mostly you will be exhausted…

Our hearts are made for love, by love, and to love. The fuel of our heart is love. What is the opposite of love? Rejection. So, we love, love and we hate rejection.We love being chosen. We hate being excluded. Criticism is verbal rejection. Criticism triggers rejection and pain: “You’re so stupid! You’re just a…

I’ve heard this statement several times. “I’m good! As long as I can just stay out of my own head.” So, I asked myself. What’s in his head? Here are four possible scary answers. These four topics play an unending, inner, verbal, loop of misery. And, that loop lives night and day in my head.…

When a man is in recovery he needs one thought: “One day at a time.” But when a man starts an emotional growth mission he needs this thought: “Three years.” This is what his emotional growth journey looks like: YEAR ONE YEAR TWO YEAR THREE Biblical Concepts Submit yourselves. Take the narrow path. Seek and…

A wife tells her husband she is feeling lonely. She wants more closeness and emotional connection. She continues, I want us to grow deeper in our relationship. I want a deep, emotional connection with you. Her husband, inwardly, snickers. Outwardly he says, “I’ll try.” He changes for a few days. Then, he falls back into…

What are some reasons for a man to be emotional stunted? Here are a few: Based on the above, he shut down and disconnected from his own emotional system. Now, let’s look at the long view. He spent the first 18 years of life designing a survival system void of emotions. Then, the next 20…

When someone says, “You failed!” I get upset fast. My stomach and chest tighten. Then, fear floods my emotional system. From my view, it’s an all out assault. The old, inner, voice whispers, “You failed again. You never learn. You’re just not good enough!” Blame and shame join the attack. All it took was one…

What happens on an Emotional-Spiritual Growth Mission? You first notice your biggest, scariest wound starts shrinking. Then, you start to see some smaller wounds that also need work. You discover God is always ready to meet you in your wounded place. And, God always speaks wisdom and brings healing. You notice you’ve stopped running away.…

It is a simplified, roadmap to freedom. It’s written as one person’s story. And, it’s a gift to hopefully educate and encourage you. (Note- Some emotional wounds are deep and heal slowly. This is an educational, emotional map and not intended to treat trauma.) FIRST – I knew the way forward was back through the…

What words does your soul long to hear?What are three powerful, emotional, spiritual words?Which three words are almost as important as, I love you?“I CHOOSE YOU!” Those words convey a place of belonging.They meanYou are includedYou belong with me“I CHOOSE YOU! Those three words convey-A vision,A future andTogetherness.“I CHOOSE YOU!”As a friend,A resource,And, as someone…

A Recovery Coach made this statement to a client.“You developed an addiction because you have a hole in your heart. And, you’re trying to fill it.” I thought, What does it mean to have a “hole in your heart?” When I think of the HEART, I immediately think: Your HEART is the place of love,…