Dr. Sue Johnson developed this concept. It’s part of her groundbreaking therapy called Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). She divides the Demon Dialogue into three parts.

Part One: Make your spouse the bad guy

This is where you attack, criticize, and humiliate. You point out flaws and shortcomings. You think, “I’m not the problem here, you are!” And you believe, “I shouldn’t have to put up with this.

Part Two: the attack and withdrawal cycle

One person attacks, and the other retreats. Both spouses do this at different times. After a while, the relationship starts to feel emotionally unsafe. In the end, both individuals feel lonely, detached, and unwanted.

Part Three: the tension and avoidance cycle

The relationship is now stuck in a state of constant tension. Issues are not being resolved. Closeness is gone. Spouses move into a state of numbing out, avoiding each other, and living detached. Hope dwindles.

The Demon Dialogue has three destructive parts, all of which send a relationship into decline.

Prayer

Father, I have participated in parts of the above dialogue. Please forgive me. Jesus and Holy Spirit, teach and guide me into better ways. You are my hope. Teach me. Amen.

Bible

Jesus said and lived out these words:

The greatest love you can show is to give your life for your friends. – John 15:13 (NOG)