Let’s think through the idea of a person being self-centered.

Everyone started out as a baby. You were the center of the world. It was all about you, your wants, and needs. Later, you matured and were socialized into sharing. If your home was safe, healthy, and sort of normal, you could experiment. You could make something all about you, then half about you, and finally none about you.

For example:

• Your birthday is all about you.
• Someone else’s birthday is all about them.
• Christmas gifts are about you, siblings, and others.

But what if your life was chaotic? There was a single mom who worked a lot, or parents who argued and yelled regularly, or alcohol was abused. Your world was emotionally unsafe. So you stayed inside yourself.

In this case, consider how self-centeredness is survival. You held back, stayed emotionally distanced, entertained yourself, and lived inside your head. You made up stories and experienced limited emotional development. Self-centeredness looks a lot like self-survival in an emotionally unhealthy childhood.

Consider also how self-centeredness can be emotional disconnectedness wrapped in a wonderful set of outward social behaviors. This can still be self-centeredness as a way of surviving.

What is the opposite of self centered?

• Others-centered
• God-centered
• Love-centered
• Relationship centered, or
• Oneness-centered

You may have started your journey with a self-centered survival road map. If so, your relationship is probably crying out for change. Pray for wisdom. Pick up a new road map. And, never stop growing.

Prayer

Father, Help me see myself more clearly. Sometimes I don’t see myself as others see me. My wife keeps asking for more depth in our relationship. That whole conversation is very confusing to me. I only know how to live the way I live. And, she regularly reminds me that I am self-centered. Help me, please Father. Amen.

Biblical Insight

A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of. – Luke 6:45 (NIV)
(And, the self-centered man brings forth self-centered behaviors.)