Author: Stephen Cervantes
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Great Marriages
For a great marriage you need progress in three important areas. 1 . A VISION- Can you visualize your spouse being your best friend? You and your wife playing like two children with a secret. You giggle, hold hands and explore the world together. Over time she becomes the most important person on the planet.…
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Thoughts on Growth
(Quotes by unknown authors) Life is hard. And, we get stuck in places. Remember, to be kind to yourself. Rest. Regroup. Then, get up and keep growing. “On your journey remember to take imperfect chances.” -Waiting for perfection will stunt your growth. “Growth means moving to better thinking.” -Your old thinking got you here. It…
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Four Drivers
In the book, The Coaching Habit, author, Michael B. Stanier outlines four drivers. He states, there are four drivers that your brain uses to determine relationship involvement and teamwork. (I’m borrowing his four drivers to discuss marriage.) T – Tribe E – Expectations R – Rank A – Autonomy (I’m going to be using my…
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Don’t Be A Burden
Here is ONE, big reason a husband might not make an emotional connection to his wife. “I do not want to burden her.” This statement includes a thought and a belief for emotional survival. Where does this thought originate? Part One Growing up, Mom’s life was hard. Mom and dad fought. I saw mom grieve,…
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It’s an Odd Thing
It’s an odd thing! Have you noticed how two opposite people always seem to get married? You have one interested, motivated, emotional-connector. And, that person marries a disinterested, unmotivated, emotional-disconnector. It all starts fine. But several years into the relationship the emotional-connector starts to wonder, “Why is this relationship still so shallow?” It’s usually the…
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Why do I Write?
Why do I send out a daily text? Here are ten insights about why I write. My Goal is to live a life overflowing with peace, rest, and joy. Learn and grow in God and self-awareness. It’s in taking wise, small steps that you arrive at peace, rest, and joy. Prayer To God be all…
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Why is it Hard to Express Myself?
Recently, I’ve been asking, why is it so hard to express myself? MY GROWING UP YEARS Growing up, we were not an emotional family. As children we knew to never express emotions. Emotional words were only used to call you names. And, after the name calling, family members were encouraged to laugh at you. There…
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There can’t be a God!
I have a friend. He’s a Christian, medical professional, and a senior adult. Recently, he shared a long-time inner-conflict. It goes like this. “There can’t be a God! And, there must be a God!” (Here are my two sides of that debate.) THERE CAN’T BE A GOD! God makes no sense. You can’t see or…
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Handling major, negative life events
When major, negative, life events occur, two outcomes are possible. 1. You experience damage to your soul. Next, you shape your life from that emotional damage. Finally, you begin to demonstrate unhealthy, emotional actions and behaviors (Anger, control, defensiveness, etc.). 2. You experience emotional damage. Afterwards, you dig in deeply and do emotional-spiritual recovery work.…
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Sex is not Love.
A 38 year old husband made this comment. “I gained a new insight today. Sex is not love.” (Don’t you love it when a man has an “aha” moment.) This is both a wonderful moment of awakening and a terribly, sad moment. Wonderful. Because it opens up his thinking to a new, much larger definition…
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These are still True.
I experienced a huge life change once. It involved deep sadness, feelings of being lost, and lots of confusion. Everything had become disordered. How could I go forward? And, if forward, on what foundation? In a dark moment, the Holy Spirit whispered. These are still true. -God is God. -Truth is truth. -Right is right.…
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God View vs. Self View
What is your God view? And, what is your Self view? Many older Christians were taught this view: So, for a long time I loved God. And, was confused and just tolerated myself. I saw me as an inadequate, struggling Self. And, I thought God saw me as his sad, inadequate, struggling, under functioning follower.…