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Equipping Christian Men for Richer Relationships

Why Must I Change?

After 25 years of marriage a husband made these comments.

I have been the same for the last 50 years.

I learned to live independent during a hard childhood. The way I have acted has helped me survive my childhood, difficult teenage years, and military service. Being strong and private has served me well. Why must I change?

His wife responds.-

You, acting like a rock, is crushing the life out of me. I feel so alone in this marriage. Today, I am setting you free. You may have your wish. You are free to live as strong and private as you want. But, do it without me. I can no longer stay and get sicker in this marriage.

The husband does some soul searching. –

My first choice is to stay the same. Which means I die strong, detached and without my wife.

My second choice is to tell her the truth. She is my best friend. And, she has saved me from the deep, loneliness I also carry.

He decides. –

I must step up and save her from leaving broken and alone. I must stop hiding and emotionally grow up. And, if I change I can save “us.”

So, he prays.-

Jesus, please help me walk the difficult journey of growth, sacrifice and change. Amen

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Posted on

September 6, 2023

by

Stephen Cervantes

  • rob-csaszar-myuSyB3bffY-unsplash: Photo by Rob Csaszar on Unsplash

0X, Day 70, Marriage
Doctor Marriage

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All content copyright © 2025, Doctor Marriage, inc. unless otherwise specified, or included as fair use. No content on this website is intended to treat or diagnose any mental health issues. The content on this website is intended for educational purposes only.

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