This is a commonly repeated story told by men who are emotionally waking up. It goes something like this:

As a boy I did not think it was okay to express my needs. I had confusing feelings. There were moods, irritations, and disappointments, but I didn’t have the words and skills to express them. Life was full of struggles and there was no place to talk through them. Everyone around me was busy surviving. My goal was to just get through the day with the least amount of problems.

It was not safe to express my needs. No one else was expressing their needs. There were no healthy role models, no good examples of how to emotionally vent your feelings.

When you are NOT practicing the skills of being open, honest, and exploring yourself you develop the opposite skills.

Here are the skills often developed:

• Escaping
• Being half present
• Keeping secrets
• Coping
• Surviving
• Numbing out
• Being okay with feeling lost much of the time, and
• Wrestling with my own mind while seeking out bits of comfort

I’m an adult now and I’m still not very good at identifying and expressing my feelings. And I’m weak at hearing the needs of others. This is the area where I must grow. No more excuses.

Closing

Today is the day I move from being a lost, coping boy to becoming a man learning everything I can about feelings, needs, and connecting.

Prayer

Father, you know all about oneness. You are one with Jesus and the Holy Spirit. And you made me for love and oneness. Father, I am weak in expressing, connecting, and oneness. Please lead me into wholeness and oneness. Amen.

Bible Connection

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 1 Corinthians 13:11 (NIV)