Thoughts
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The Problem today…
Building on yesterday’s thought.) Review The Son/Husband built an emotional system for his mother and is now using it on his wife. His Rule: Don’t burden mom or wife. Keep all negative emotions to yourself. The Problem Today If he shut down emotionally at age 8. And, he’s now 38. Then he’s 30 years behind…
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Growing up shaped you
What if a young, son saw his mother struggling? Maybe, dad worked a lot, traveled regularly, or just left the family. And, mom daily complained about her heavy, sad life and how she can’t get everything done. Her son hears her sadness and comes up with a plan. He decides not be a burden to…
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Two Emotional Battles
In life you have two emotional battles you must win.
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What’s the point?
I loved my dad. And, he loved me. He’s passed now. Dad had strengths and weaknesses. One weakness was he wanted me to move fast. If he asked me to do something he wanted it done now! And, he wanted it done fast. No discussion or explanation, just do it. And, do it fast. That…
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How Things Work
I write because no one ever explained to me how emotions, spiritual teachings and relationship skills all fit together. Lots of people will train you spiritually. But, there are very, few emotional trainers. John Eldridge, author, once said, “There is a way things work.” I love that thought! It reminds me that God is ordered…
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I Feel used and Abused
“Please comfort me.” She said. “I feel used and abused by others. Work. Traffic. Aging. Please comfort me.” She is asking her husband to use his soothing skills. (Here are some examples of soothing) -Use your words- “I’m sorry you are going through that.” -Use your touch….. Reach for her and stroke her. -Use your…
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Who could I help?
Christians are told to be part of a ministry. They are told to minister to one another. Many quietly whisper, “Me? Be in ministry? Who could I help? What would I say?” This thought rises.“You are perfectly equipped and trained to help people just like you.”This ministry question might also be asked a little differently.…
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Why Must I Change?
After 25 years of marriage a husband made these comments. I have been the same for the last 50 years. I learned to live independent during a hard childhood. The way I have acted has helped me survive my childhood, difficult teenage years, and military service. Being strong and private has served me well. Why…
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Hungry for New Insights
I love working with motivated, emotionally confused, men. Often these men are caught in a relationship crisis and are looking for help. The men I most enjoy are hungry for new insights, strategies, and behaviors. They keep repeating. “Just tell us what to do!” It’s exciting because these men are like Cub Scouts packing for…
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My Issue is Anger
A brother responded to the last post. He said, “my issue is anger.” Now that I have taken ownership of this “odd behavior,” what do I do about it? Here are some suggestions. All glory to God. Amen
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Appropriate and Odd
How does it make sense that an individual can be appropriate in one moment and emotionally “odd” in another? (I’m defining “emotionally odd” as- angry, controlling, defensive, anxious, going numb, etc.) David Zailer, author of Death of a Fisherman, was trying to understand why he went emotionally “numb” periodically. He had recently experienced an episode…
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Travel and Party
Growing up, my family was well known in our neighborhood. Everyone knew us as the “travel” and “party” family. After visiting, my buddies went back home and talked about my dad and mom. And, that’s how our reputation spread. Why were we known as the “travel and party” family? My father was famous for his…