Charles Duhigg, author of Super Communicators* spoke on a recent podcast. Here is a summary of his comments.

*Not sponsored

When talking with your wife do you sometimes get lost or say the wrong thing? That is understandable. Because sometimes one dialogue includes three different conversations.

Charles Duhigg did some research and found there are three different types of conversations.

A. The Practical Conversation

This involves solving problems, it might cover planning a trip, working out spending issues, deciding what time to leave etc.

B. The Emotional Conversation

Your wife expresses some recent emotions. “I’m lonely, frustrated, restless etc.” There is nothing to fix. So, don’t try. Rather, empathize with her emotional struggles.

C. The Social Conversation

This is about your wife and how she sees the world. it includes observations, insights and reactions. It covers both her reaction and the reactions of others.

To prevent yourself from getting lost, ask yourself, what kind of conversation is this?

1. Are we going back and forth trying to solve a practical problem?
2. Is she expressing feelings like sad, mad, hurt, lonely, or feeling misunderstood?
3. Is she sharing her observations about the world and those around her?

Prayer

Father, I love my wife. But, I do not always understand her. I want my wife to feel heard, understood, and loved. Sometimes I get lost in her conversations. Please help me. I want us to be a well connected couple. You made us to be one. Bless us. Amen.

Bible Insights

Paul said this to the Corinthian church. It also applies to couples.

Finally, brothers and sisters, rejoice! Strive for full restoration, encourage one another, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you. – 2 Corinthians 13:11 (NIV)