What if you grew up in a home where no one really knew each other? Meaning there were not any emotionally connecting conversations. Or, said differently, all the conversations were shallow. In a home with minimal emotional conversations a child often reaches this conclusion:

“No one wants to know me!”

So, when that boy grows up and gets married, and his wife makes the statement. “I want you to know me.” He smiles and nods, but he has no idea what she is asking.

Here is what she is asking:

• Learn my likes and dislikes. They are part of who I am.
• Listen to what I say. But, even more importantly, listen and learn my inner battles.
• Be a safe place for me to vent.
• When I’m wrestling with an issue, help me debrief it.
• Don’t argue or fix my problems.
• And don’t get tense or stressed. Remember it’s my problem.
• Be a safe place for me to vent thoughts, feelings, and pain.
• Ask me how I want to be consoled. Then do it.
• Please learn the words that bless and soothe me, and then say them.
• Finally pray out loud over me.

In Closing

A wife will agree. This is a long list. You won’t be perfect. But you do get credit for trying. And her hope is that you will learn, grow, and get better year after year.

Guided Prayer

Father, growing up no one wanted to know me. So, I don’t know me. Now my wife wants me to know her. Please help me. Emotions and people are confusing. Give me wisdom. Amen.

Bible Connection

David prayed,

God, I invite your searching gaze into my heart. Examine me through and through; find out everything that may be hidden within me. Put me to the test and sift through all my anxious cares. See if there is any path of pain I’m walking on, and lead me back to your glorious, everlasting way – the path that brings me back to you. – Psalm 139:23-24 (Passion)