What if you were raised in a home that was high conflict. And when possible, you chose to avoid your parents and just stay in your bedroom.

You would be good at distracting yourself with books, games, listening to music, and watching media. One of your strengths would be entertaining yourself. And you would probably have a very well-developed imagination.

So, if you’re really good at entertaining yourself, talking to yourself, and making up stories, how good would you be in a marriage relationship?

How would that history limit your ability to grow in your relationship–specifically a marriage relationship?

• First, you would be very good at being alone. Easily entertaining yourself.
• Second, you would find emotions and people difficult, complicated, and way too complex.
• Third, you might feel safer living disconnected from people. People and emotions have not been safe in the past.
• Fourth, you might not want to bother others so you wouldn’t ask a lot of questions; you would just live less curious about others.
• Fifth, multiple and deep dialogues would be unnecessary. Shallow and simple conversations would be the norm.
• Sixth, short logical conversations would be superior to long emotional ones.

Conclusion

Your childhood isolating skills will help you survive difficult parents. They will not help you develop a rich, deep, emotional, marital connection.

Prayer

Father, thank you for being in the transformation business. No matter how I got started. I do not have to die the same. You change hearts, minds, and wills. And for that I give you thanks. I give you my life. Transform me please. Amen.

Bible

Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
Rom 12:2 NIV