We are all patterned and repetitive people. It’s important to study your patterns. Because the ending is connected to the beginning. Here is one man expressing his pattern.

When someone pointed out my flaw my natural response was to get defensive. Then I would counterattack with blame and shame. Growing up life was hard. And I needed to be strong to survive. Today I’m learning survival skills are not good marriage skills. I’ve fought to be right all my life. I like being right, strong, and in control.

Today I’m learning a new insight. Underneath getting angry and arguing back is my fear of failure. Learning my fears and working at the fear level, inside me, has changed everything. Today when I want to get angry, I immediately ask myself this question. “What am I fearing right now?”

Close

Anger is happening on one level.

But a fear or disappointment is happening at a deeper level. If you pause before venting anger and ask a question, you might change yourself and your relationships. Ask. What am I feeling or fearing right now?

Prayer

Father, I want to love you and serve you. I want to be just like Jesus. Except, there are a few patterns that hinder me. Can you help me see the emotional patterns that are hindering my development. I need your help. Amen.

Bible

Whoever pursues righteousness and unfailing love will find life, righteousness, and honor. – Proverbs 21:21 (NLT)