What if, as a child, you simply wanted to be wanted?

To be seen, heard, and enjoyed.

What if you longed to be good enough—to please your mother or your father?

But instead, your parents’ relationship was marked by conflict and chaos.

Your home carried constant tension.

There was no safe place—no rest, no quiet- your heart could not be still.

From that early environment, patterns begin to form that quietly follow you into adulthood.

FEAR

Do I have any worth?

BELIEF

Nobody wants me.

I’m not good enough.

ACTIONS

You can manage simple, shallow relationships.

But when connection becomes deep, challenging, or vulnerable, you feel overwhelmed and pull away.

SKILLS YOU LEARNED TO SURVIVE

Running away.

Using.

Denying.

Hiding.

Manipulating.

And then something becomes painfully clear:

You are not at ease in the alone places.

You don’t feel calm—outside yourself or within.

Silence triggers panic.

Stillness awakens the urge to escape.

No one ever wanted you.

And now, you don’t want you.

Why would you choose to be alone with yourself?

So you flee—again—looking for relief anywhere but within.

Closing:

You are not good connected.

And, you’re not good alone.

Running away is your pattern.

But, there’s no where to hide.

Prayer:

Father, help me grow. I’ve made a mess of my life, and I bring it to You today. I lay down my striving, my fear, and my exhaustion. I want peace, rest, and joy. Teach me how to find these in You. Amen.

Scripture:

“Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.”

2 Corinthians 3:17 (NIV)