“I give you permission to not like me.” This line was recently given to me in a quiet moment. As a recovering pleaser, my job was to get others to like me. All my life I wanted to be liked. Because being liked was very close to being loved. And if I was loved, that meant I was accepted. And if I was accepted that meant I had a place to belong.

Pleasing and being liked, gave me a chance at belonging. Belonging meant being part of a group. Being part of a group is safer and more fun than being alone.

All my life I wanted to be loved. Unfortunately, the best I could do was to manipulate people so they would like me. That is the role of a Pleaser.

Playing the role of a Pleaser gave me direction but it was never very satisfying. That role was my best childhood thinking and it was still being lived out in adulthood.

I know God loves me. I’m chosen, redeemed, and forgiven. And I’m part of his grand, eternal, family.

Still, something was emotionally missing. That is, until this statement was given:

“I give you permission to not like me.”

The immature pleaser part of me said, “I must work really hard to make everyone like me.” (But, what if someone’s heart is so damaged they can’t love?)

The mature adult part of me now silently repeats “I give you permission to not like me.”

Close

Jesus loves me. My wife loves me. My family loves me. Friends love me. My love bank is full. What do I do now if an an angry person unleashes their disappointment or disapproval on me? I silently repeat, “If, your love part is broken, I give you permission to not like me. But I will still love you.”

Pray- for wisdom.

Sing- Jesus loves me this I know.