I heard a speaker at a seminar once say if you have trauma in your past, you will also have a lot of shame. Shame is when you blame yourself. So, when something bad happened in your family of origin, as a child, you immediately turned and blamed yourself.

Now think about a husband who is full of childhood shame. Some will vent anger others will turn inward.

This is a collection of comments by men who turn inward. They turn and shame themselves. Here are their comments.

• “You criticize me. Then I criticize me.”
• “You point out that I was wrong, and I keep repeating how wrong I am.”
• “You beat me up with your words, and I beat myself up with your words.”
• “You think I’m worth very little and I remind myself, Im not worth much.”
• “You point out a negative and I beat myself up with your negative thoughts.”
• “You are hard on me. Then, I am even harder on myself.”
• “You say things like I’m silly, dumb, and I-don’t-know-anything. And I spend the evening telling myself I’m silly, dumb and I-don’t-know-anything.”
• “You say you can’t trust me, and I surely can’t trust myself.”
• “You say, I second-guess myself way too much and then I spend more time second-guessing myself.”

The husband closes with, “I like spending time alone. It’s only half as painful.”

Prayer

Father, help me to not shame myself. Help me to speak life and truth over myself. I believe the truth will set me free. And lies will cause me to live in shame and self destruction. I chose you, life and freedom. Amen.

Bible

Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.
John 8:32 NIV