How can I help my wife when she gets messed up emotionally? I don’t know what to do or say. How can I help her?

There are a few simple rules for working with someone who is flooding with hurt and pain.

• First, hold space. Don’t be in a hurry. Go slow. Speak softly. Stay present.
• Second, remember she’s probably feeling triggered and unvalued.
• Third, grieve with her. Use comforting language. Example: “I’m sorry you’re going through that. That’s so hard…”
• Fourth, offer comfort. Just sit with her. Allow her to talk through it. If allowed offer, soothing, comforting touch.
• Fifth, be still and restful. Sit in her pain. Don’t try to fix anything. Just stay in this difficult moment. Your simple presence can offer comfort.
• Finally, remember she has everything she needs. She is an adult. She knows how to be successful. Offer her your calming presence. She does not want to be alone in this emotional pain and confusion. Keep offering quiet, gentle support.

Prayer

Father, it’s hard to sit still, stay present and be comforting. When my wife is in pain, I get flooded with pain. And it’s hard to be helpful. Can you please help me with wisdom? Amen.

Bible Connection

Read the story of Jesus and the woman at the well. He offered great support and comfort. – John 4:1-26