What if a couple were raising a son and they argued and bickered all the time. Finally they divorced. The son tried to be helpful but eventually he just withdrew inside himself. That son would probably have and use these skills as his primary skills.

• Self preservation
• Being independent
• Coping and surviving
• Living mostly through logic and behaviors

That son might have some of these views about emotions:

• Just keep feelings to yourself
• It’s so easy to get lost in an intense emotional conversation
• Emotional relationships are complicated
• It’s better to live unemotional
• Understanding emotions is not on the self improvement list

Because his parent’s relationship was full of emotional pain and break up, he thinks:

• Ignore all internal problems
• Just be outwardly successful
• Live by this rule: I don’t discuss confusing emotional issues
• Never emotionally need your wife
• See independence and withdrawing behaviors as healthy, normal activity

That son probably uses these thoughts and behaviors in a marital relationship. He:

• Wants everything to end quickly and nice
• Does not want to have any emotionality difficult conversations
• Gets impatient when his wife starts sharing
• Easily gets lost in his wife’s feelings
• Is always in a hurry to end conversations
• Struggles with relationship connecting

Prayer

Thank you for the above list. Thank you for helping me see and learn myself. Help me identify and CONFESS one area of weakness today. Help me work and grow in that area. I make you Lord of my weak areas. I want my life to glorify you. Holy Spirit please do your work in me. Amen.

Bible Verse

Therefore confess your sins (faults and offenses*) to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. –James 5:16
*NIV- sins. KJV-faults. ABPE- offenses