Author: Stephen Cervantes
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Inside and Outside Me
Consider this letter. Does it sound like you?
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The Disapproval Filter
We are all hungry for approval. But, what if your relationship “filter” was built around disapproval. In the depth of your soul you may be carrying a nagging feeling of disapproval. If this is you, it’s important to do emotional-spiritual work in this area.
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Like Father…
What if your father is still a son looking for answers. What if he is stuck in seeking and never finding? Do you carry any tormenting questions?
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Why do we Fall?
Most of us have old emotional areas we battle and struggle to surrender to the spiritual. When you are emotionally hindered, find yourself stuck, or worse–break down, even though you still love Jesus, it’s your emotional program that needs work.
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J.O.Y.
Growing up, I was a confused struggling young man. School was hard. I had no talent. And, I developed later than other kids. I tried to be funny. But, slow kids are not that funny. There was no place where I excelled. I just knew, in the Church and with God it would be different.
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Sharing the Work of Growth
Often in marriage one spouse is learning, gaining insights, and excited to be on a Growth Mission. At the same time their spouse may have less interest in engaging in emotional growth.
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Two Emotional Programs
I’ve noticed something from years of counseling. Here’s my observation: Healthy adults have developed a second emotional program. Or, said differently, struggling adults only have one emotional program.
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Insights into Connecting Well
Connecting well is hard work. Many of us were poorly trained in connecting. It takes time, interest, and self control to connect well. Here are some insights that might help in building a better connection.
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It’s Easy to Talk to Someone Who…
Have you ever noticed how easy it is to talk to someone who Is neutral, accepting, admits they also struggle…
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Change Takes Work
We are still researching cures for these issues. If you know how to cure these weaknesses please share that information. Everyone knows change is hard. And, these habits are hard to break. Poor Habits Change is hard. People seldom change because someone asked them to change. A person can change once he/she sees how a…
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It’s Not your Pride
If you go to a spiritual brother in humility and confess. Saying, “I’m struggling!”And, that brother quickly and assertively responds, “It’s your pride.” You might want to seek advice elsewhere. Why? Because many church men want to sound wise. They want to appear insightful. And, they are not sure what else to say. So, they…
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I Want You to Know Me
I’ve often heard this relationship statement. “I want you to know me.” My assumption was everyone knew what that meant. Then, I remembered two stories: A 16-year-old daughter was sitting at the dinner table and said to her dad, “You’re so private. You’re a mystery. I don’t feel like I know you. I want to…