Attachment Theory was developed by John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth through their research on children. Their work identified four different attachment styles.

What you are about to read is a simple hybrid version. Some wording has been adjusted to better reflect adult relationships and make the concepts easier to understand.

ANXIOUS Attacher

This person fears being left out or abandoned. They often need frequent reassurance and may be perceived as clingy or overly dependent. Rejection easily triggers them.

DETACHED Attacher

This person believes they must depend only on themselves. They do not trust others and often see people as controlling. To protect themselves, they withdraw from closeness.

CONFUSED Attacher

This individual moves toward people to feel loved but then pulls away to avoid being hurt. They deeply desire connection, yet they also fear being hurt. As a result, their relationships often become a mixture of closeness and distance.

MATURE Attacher

This individual has matured and developed healthy emotional self-regulation. They enjoy meaningful relationships and are able to work through issues, stress, and conflict. They are comfortable in the “alone place,” but they also enjoy an intimate connection with their spouse.

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What is your attachment style?

Everyone should be working toward becoming a Mature and secure Attacher.

Prayer

Father, help me grow into a mature attachment style. Jesus lived in deep connection with His followers. Help me grow in that same strength and maturity. Amen.

Scripture

“Above all, constantly echo God’s intense love for one another, for love will be a canopy over a multitude of sins.”    1 Peter 4:8 (TPT)

Note- Research Attachment Styles to learn more about the work of Bowlby and Ainsworth.