Two years ago we had that hard conversation. You said you were happy and would be staying the same. I chose growth.
All my life I have been a pleaser and fixer. I tried so many times. But sadly, I could not fix us.
So, I embraced a new strategy. I moved closer to God. And, I practiced the skill of being quiet. That new plan gave God lots of room to work.
In the quiet and waiting, I was forced to face my deepest fears. There were days when anxiety and unworthiness tried to own me. I could not allow that to happen.
Instead, in the silence I found God’s love and acceptance. His love has overpowered all my fear, shame and unworthiness. These days, those old fears are minuscule.
During this change process, Abba gently removed much of my old, emotional confusion and clutter. He also invited me to reclaim my sweet, innocent, younger-self. (In my youth, I was so full of life. I was such a kind, good, loving, little girl.)
While on this, emotional-spiritual-healing journey my hope has been restored. I am now three parts, working as one. The young-hopeful-kind-me and the older-wiser-adult-me and the heart of Jesus running it all.
I am happier and more peaceful than I have ever been. I now see Jesus as my new role model. I have seen the Holy Spirit do amazing things. And today, I live wrapped in Abba’s love.
Dear husband, thank you for so many good times. Please, please, please wake up! You are missing all the really, good stuff.