I’ve noticed a pattern. It doesn’t happen in every marriage, but when you see it, it is crystal clear.

See if you’ve noticed it too.

Before marriage a man will-

-Try new things 

-Stretch himself

-Flex and give

-Act outside his comfort zone.

-Enjoy what she enjoys.

Then two words are spoken and everything changes.  “I do!”.

Suddenly Mister Thoughtful and Flexible becomes  Mister Rigid and Right. He announces, “Oh! That was dating. That was not real life. Now this is how we live.

What happened? 

Before marriage, he lived inside a circle he drew around himself.

Inside that circle are his habits, routines, preferences, comforts, and favorite ways of doing life.

Dating required him to step outside that circle. He entered her world. He tried restaurants she liked, watched movies she chose, visited places that mattered to her, and discovered new experiences together.

After the “I do” his thinking abruptly shifts. He thinks. She has now moved into my circle.

He begins communicating, “This is how we do life. Live like me. Think like me. Like what I like. We don’t need all those dating activities anymore.”

Close-

The healthiest relationships include the best of me and the best of you, making both of us better.

Prayer-

Father, thank You for my wife’s good heart, unique interests, and the ways You use her to stretch me. Help me never resist the growth that love requires. Teach me to keep stepping outside my circle so I can love her well. I love You, and I love her. Amen.

Scripture-

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”   Phil. 2:3-4   NIV