There are three terms that define a secure attachment. And a secure attachment is another term for a strong relationship connection.

The three words are part of Emotionally Focused Therapy. They answer this question. “When I am in distress will you be there for me?”

The terms are Accessible, Responsive, Engaged

Secure Attachment asks, “ Will you be there when I reach for you?”

Accessible-

“When I reach for you will you be emotionally available?”
Verses- avoid, detach, shutdown, withdraw or get defensive.
”If you are not present I will feel alone and neglected.”

Responsive-

“Will you respond to me by showing concern, offering validation and comforting me?”

If you do I will feel like I matter.

Engaged-

“Are you emotionally involved by showing interest, warmth and compassion.”

If you do I will believe I am important to you.

When you are not Available, Responsive or Engaging you create an attachment wound. Because you are not present, interested or engaging me.

Close: To develop a strong relationship and a secure attachment work to be Available, Responsive and Engaging.

Prayer: Father, thank you for always being available, hearing and blessing me. I need your wisdom, support and encouragement. Thank you for Jesus and the Holy Comforter. Amen 

Scripture: “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” Eph. 4:2-3