Skill Building Series

Silence used at the right time in a relationship is golden. Silence is holding time and space for another person. It becomes fertile soil for new thoughts and growth. Silence is a teacher. We are the student. Silence teaches us greater self and other awareness.

As men, we rush, jostle, and fumble. It’s our desire to help. Silence sounds like a giant eternal void screaming for answers.

Skill 9

Learn to use silence as a tool for deepening a dialogue.

When a wise husband uses silence, he is saying “I know there is more. Go inside, stay a little longer, and look a little deeper. I will stay quiet and present as you linger inside yourself.” Remember, you can’t rush relationship growth. And you can’t rush the deepening process. However, you can use silence as an opportunity for more growth. 

Think about those times when your wife is talking, and she pauses to collect her thoughts. Hold the silence. Think about when she is quietly looking for that perfect word. Hold the silence. Or maybe she’s exploring deep emotional inner thoughts. Hold the silence. Stay present.

Remember, silence is a tool to open up more emotional space. Silence encourages vulnerability. It’s powerful and it’s awkward. Sometimes it’s uncomfortable.

The wise use every quiet pause to learn more, deepen the dialogue, and to stay curious.

Prayer

Father, I have not been very good in understanding or using the tool of silence. Please help me. I desire growth and change. Help me use silence at the right emotional moment. And, help me not be stupid and use the silent treatment. I love you. Thanks for always loving me. Amen.

Bible

He who restrains his words has knowledge,
And he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding.

Even a fool, when he keeps silent, is considered wise;
When he closes his lips, he is considered prudent. – Proverbs 17:27-28 (NASB1995)