What kind of marriage do YOU want?

Marriage is a wonderful and difficult relationship. To have a great marriage, you must keep learning yourself and your wife. And, you must address weak areas with change and growth. Today’s blog is about vision. What kind of marriage do you want?

Your original marriage template starts in your family. Were dad and mom kind to each other? Did they work on problems together? Was growing up an emotionally safe place? Were difficult emotional situations discussed? That is the foundation on which you stand. So, what kind of relationship do YOU want to build?

A Very Close Relationship

We see, own and work on our individual weaknesses. Conversations can be hard but we keep our relationship safe. After we argue, we kiss and make up. We support and encourage each other. We don’t always agree, and that’s okay because we respect each other as unique individuals. Our marriage is a place to listen, learn, and grow. Love, sacrifice and emotional growth are important themes of our relationship.

An Average Close Relationship

It’s obvious we love each other. We care, give and sacrifice. The emotional connection is good at times and weak at others. One of us may be working harder than the other. Shortcomings are overlooked. Weaknesses are accepted and tolerated. One tries to push forward, but resistance stops forward progress. You’ll hear comments like the “We’re doing okay. Leave it alone” or “That’s just the way it is.”

A Distant Relationship

We are more roommates than lovers. We coexist and coparent. Problems are not addressed. Conflict does not end in change, learning or growth. Mostly we keep our distance to avoid blow ups. Emotional words often heard include-not involved, oblivious, avoiding, alone, and lonely. Comments expressed include, “We never talk.” “Why can’t you just be happy.” And, “You’re the one with the problem.”

Prayer

Father, I want your very best for my wife and myself. I need your help. Having an average or underperforming relationship is not what I want. Help me. I don’t like change. And, growth is slow for me. But, I will submit to you and your will. Please gently, show me and lead me forward. I don’t know how to get there but I do want a great, loving, close relationship. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Meditate

Jesus said this to his apostles

Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.

John 15:13 (NASB1995)