Don’t you just love it when God shows up and answers a long held question. He used a friend of mine to answer this question. I hope it blesses you as much as it did me.

“Why do men work so hard to stay emotionally closed?”

Here is what my friend told me. The steps below provide some insights.

Step One

Growing up, no one wanted to hear my thoughts. Home was stressful. My parents struggled. So I stayed quiet. I kept my ideas to myself. I grew up private and unknown. No one cared to know me. So I kept my emotional thoughts to myself.

Step Two

I told myself I was neglected because I am different and different is not good. Others are good. I’m not good. I am different and inadequate.

Step Three

I must hide the fact that I am different. Different means you will never find a place to belong. It means you are vulnerable and will be excluded. And people who are different are seen as odd and weak. People who are different are picked on.

Don’t you remember grade school, middle school, and high school. All the weak kids were attacked. And I mean verbally–savagely attacked. They were criticized, demeaned, and insulted. Weak people get mocked; humiliated and publicly laughed at. Being seen as different and weak turns you into prey.

Step Four

To be safe, I live emotionally closed. I’ve lived closed my entire life. Closed and quiet are good. Being quiet often looks like strength. I want others to see me as the strong silent type.

“I am a married, 40 year old husband who still lives closed. And I still believe I am different.”

Prayer

Father, I am so tired of thinking I’m different, acting different, and feeling different. I have no peace or rest. I feel numb. I’ve discovered hiding never helps you understand internal confusion. My life is so heavy. I want peace and freedom. So, today I am opening up more. Amen.

Bible Connection

Meditate on (ponder and repeat) this biblical truth today:

God says, I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

Psalm 139:14