Bob Hamp, Counselor and Spiritual Mentor spoke at a recent conference. He outlined red flag language. He said pay special attention to anyone who uses too many “YOU” statements.

Here are some examples:

• “I act this way because of YOU.”
• “YOU made me do it.”
• “Whenever YOU do this; I must do that.”
• “I’m angry because of YOU!”
• “YOU upset me on purpose.”
• “If YOU hadn’t done that behavior I would not have to act this way.”
• “Do YOU try to upset me?”
• “When are YOU going to learn?”
• “YOU act that way on purpose.”
• “YOU like letting me down.”
• “YOU bring out the worst in me.”
• “When are YOU going to change?”
• “Are YOU going to ever learn?”

The individuals above are using blame and shame over taking personal responsibility. If you use too many “YOU” statements you should take a good hard look at yourself. You are making someone else responsible for the quality of your life.

Bible Connection

Jesus said yoking up with me is easy and my burden is light. (see Matthew 11:30)
Later, he said to the religious leaders, “You create heavy loads and put them on men’s shoulders.” (see Matthew 23:4)

Prayer

Father, help me not blame others for the quality of my life. Help me not blame or shame others for their imperfections. Teach me that living in your presence is enough. Amen.