Dear wife,
You frequently ask these questions. Why don’t you want to talk more? Why don’t you open up more? Why don’t we discuss things?
Here are my answers. You:
- Frequently ask me to change
- Tell me what’s wrong
- Point out my flaws
- Show me what you don’t like
- Express what I am doing wrong
- Telling me how I’m bad at ______
- Give me more things to do
- Exaggerate my weaknesses
- Ignore my strengths
- Compare me to others
- Tell me things I don’t want to hear
- Show me my blindside
- Illuminate my weak areas
- Remind me again that I need to change
Then, you ask why I’m not changing? That’s why I don’t want to talk!
I want to hear:
- Thank you for all you do.
- You make my life better.
- Thank you for your sacrifices.
- I am so grateful for what I have.
- Thank you for loving me.
- You’re the best!
Prayer
Father, please strengthen me. Lift my heavy heart, tired body and dragging spirit. Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, you are the best. I find rest and acceptance in your company. Thank you Jesus for many, many things. Amen.
Bible
Give thanks in every circumstance, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:18 (BSB)
Comments
One response to “What Men Want to Hear”
And yet, she is asking those things out of her fear that we are not willing to put in the effort, yes? She is asking out of her fears that she is unworthy of our effort. It is absolute fine and healthy to express how those comments make us feel. Even better if we can hear those comments for what they represent and meet her need for reassurance, comfort, and love. (No judgement here, I’ve failed on both counts, and currently do not have the opportunity to attempt to do better due to separation. I did not communicate my needs or desires, and did not dig any deeper, get curious, or empathize with her needs she was trying to express behind her language. Hope this share helps someone. God bless.)