How does someone change? What starts the change?” And how does it progress? Here is one common husband change example:

Step One

A wife in crises announces, “We are not connecting. And, I can’t take it anymore!”

Step Two

Her husband panics and scrambles to find a quick solution.

Step Three

He then moves into quick fixes and short-term thinking. He’ll do anything to calm her down.

Step Four

He secretly tries to stay the same, but he’s willing to try to take some small, short-term, steps for her appeasement.

Step Five

His wife experiences his big talk and minimal efforts. She announces, “I’m still feeling lonely and unknown.”

Step Six

Finally, her husband settles down. He prays for wisdom and looks deeper into his own thinking.

Step Seven

He recognizes that some of his thoughts are immature and his behaviors have been stunting himself and the relationship.

Step Eight

He continues digging deeply into problem areas outlined by his wife.

Step Nine

He experiences new thoughts which lead to new behaviors.

Step Ten

The new behaviors lead to a happier mood, more peace, and greater closeness. He knows it’s all God.

Step Eleven

His wife sees, hears, and experiences small changes. Her hope rises.

Step Twelve

Her husband continues working on emotional growth.

Step Thirteen

He keeps digging deeper, gaining insights, and taking small steps forward. He is set on continuing to work Steps 6 through 13 till death.

Step Fourteen

The relationship gets closer and closer until he finally dies and sees Jesus.

Prayer

Father, please grow me in wisdom and oneness. Amen.

Bible Connection

That, however, is not the way of life you learned when you heard about Christ and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your mind; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. – Ephesians 4:20-24 (NIV)