How does someone change? What starts the change?” And how does it progress? Here is one common husband change example:
Step One
A wife in crises announces, “We are not connecting. And, I can’t take it anymore!”
Step Two
Her husband panics and scrambles to find a quick solution.
Step Three
He then moves into quick fixes and short-term thinking. He’ll do anything to calm her down.
Step Four
He secretly tries to stay the same, but he’s willing to try to take some small, short-term, steps for her appeasement.
Step Five
His wife experiences his big talk and minimal efforts. She announces, “I’m still feeling lonely and unknown.”
Step Six
Finally, her husband settles down. He prays for wisdom and looks deeper into his own thinking.
Step Seven
He recognizes that some of his thoughts are immature and his behaviors have been stunting himself and the relationship.
Step Eight
He continues digging deeply into problem areas outlined by his wife.
Step Nine
He experiences new thoughts which lead to new behaviors.
Step Ten
The new behaviors lead to a happier mood, more peace, and greater closeness. He knows it’s all God.
Step Eleven
His wife sees, hears, and experiences small changes. Her hope rises.
Step Twelve
Her husband continues working on emotional growth.
Step Thirteen
He keeps digging deeper, gaining insights, and taking small steps forward. He is set on continuing to work Steps 6 through 13 till death.
Step Fourteen
The relationship gets closer and closer until he finally dies and sees Jesus.
Prayer
Father, please grow me in wisdom and oneness. Amen.
Bible Connection
That, however, is not the way of life you learned when you heard about Christ and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your mind; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. – Ephesians 4:20-24 (NIV)