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Equipping Christian Men for Richer Relationships

Underneath it All

A conversation with a friend:

“I’ve been in groups, seminars and classes on self improvement. I’ve read books and worked with a life coach for years.

Here is my conclusion:

The true me is buried under layers and layers of emotional survival skills.

The conversation continued, “Here is my view of life and interacting with others:

  • I try to make others happy.
  • Being seen as a nice person is very important.
  • If you’re in pain I make it my personal assignment to help you.
  • What you think is more important than what I think.
  • I give and care way more than the average person.
  • Looking to be loved well is my driving hunger.

So, I’ve concluded, “The true me is buried under layers and layers of the above survival skills. (If I do this behavior, maybe I’ll be loved.)

I am tired. I’ve worked and sacrificed and still I don’t feel well loved. I thought my spouse would fight through my survival skills and rescue me. I finally see that they don’t have the skills to break through all my layers.

Prayer

Father, I’ve been such a performer. I’ve worked hard to gain approval and to be loved. I see now that all my skills will not get me loved well. Thank you that I don’t have to prove myself to earn your love. Thank you for choosing me. And thank you for not asking me to perform. I love you. Amen.

Bible

Jesus said:

You did not choose me, but I chose you. I chose you to go and to make plenty of fruit. That kind of fruit will continue always. For that reason, the Father will help you with anything that you ask him. If you ask him in my name, he will do it for you. – John 15:16 (EASY) emphasis added.

Put on my yoke, and learn from me. I’m gentle and humble. And you will find rest for yourselves. – Matthew 11:29 (CEB)

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Posted on

November 28, 2024

by

Stephen Cervantes

  • DRM-Knight: Doctor Marriage | All Rights Reserved
  • wolfgang-mennel-OFWdHixhqZ4-unsplash: Photo by Wolfgang Mennel on Unsplash | Unsplash License

240910, Day 58, Inner Dialogue, John 15:16, Matthew 11:29
Doctor Marriage

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Created by Greater Lessons

All content copyright © 2025, Doctor Marriage, inc. unless otherwise specified, or included as fair use. No content on this website is intended to treat or diagnose any mental health issues. The content on this website is intended for educational purposes only.

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