Learning your spouse is smart. Being curious and asking questions is a good plan. But there is one question NOT to ask.

“Do you want to…”
(Followed by a chore.)

Examples:

• Do you WANT TO haul the trash?
• Do you WANT TO clean the carpets?
• Do you WANT TO pull the weeds in the flower bed?

That question messes up a man. He will want to respond, “No” and “Yes!” at the same time. Then, you might misinterpret his confusion and hesitation. And an argument could begin.

Here are some better questions.

• Can you help me…
• Will you give me a hand…
• I need some help with…
• When you have a minute could you…

There are no guarantees, but the second set of questions will give you a better chance of success.

Prayer

Father, thank you that you know me. Thank you that you’re growing me. Thank you for your patience. Please keep growing me, my wife, and our use of language. Help us to be wise and work like a team. Amen.

Bible

He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin. -Proverbs 13:3 (NIV)