Well meaning people sometimes give you funny advice. They say confusing things, trying to be helpful. Their intent is good, but their timing, or use of language, is odd. Here are three examples.

• You have low self-esteem.
• You are insecure.
• You need to practice self-care.

Let’s address these one at a time (these may seem a bit snarky):

“You have low self-esteem.”

Looking back, I know every mistake I have ever made. I know my poor choices. And I remember many embarrassing moments. So, you’re telling a guy with a 40-year history of screw-ups to more highly esteem myself. What?  That makes no sense. I know my every fear, flaw, and weakness. You should be telling him what he needs is God esteem. God is the forgiver and acceptor of his soul.

”You are insecure.”

Yes, and?  This is life. It’s messy and constantly changing. You are 15…then you are 40. Healthy one day and sick the next. One disease carrying tick bites you and you have Lyme disease. You click the wrong button, and you have a computer virus. On this journey you will be criticized, excluded, and threatened. And at times you will experience despair. So, forgive me if on this difficult journey I’m a little emotionally unsure of myself. In the spiritual world, I do know the Rock upon which I stand.

“You need to practice self-care.”

This makes no sense to a real struggler. His first response is, I don’t really know what you mean. I’ve been doing everything I know to take care of myself. Unfortunately, my life is full of struggles, poor choices, and wrong behaviors. I am a survivor. Everyday I just get by. It sounds like I can’t swim. I fall into a deep pool. And you scream from your lounge chair “swim, swim, swim!” But you never get up. You just keep screaming, “practice self care!”

Why this matters

If I’m struggling, don’t tell me, I’m insecure or I have low self esteem. Just be Jesus and walk along side me.

Prayer

Father, thank you for being the rock upon which I stand. I take great comfort and security in your presence. Thank you, Jesus and Holy Comforter. Amen.

Bible Connection

The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;
    my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge,
    my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
-Psalm 18:2 (NIV)