Consider this quote from research psychologist, Dr. Peggy Drexler:
“In my research into the lives of 75 high achieving, clearly, independent women. I knew I would find a powerful connection between them and the first men in their lives. (Fathers) What surprised me was how deep and traditional the bond was. And how powerful it is throughout their lives and how resilient it can be even when a father has caused grievous harm. No matter how successful their careers or how happy their marriage or how fulfilling their lives. Women told me their happiness passed through a filter of their father’s reactions. (approval or disapproval) Many told me they tried to remove the filter and much to their surprise failed. We know fathers play a key role in the development and choices of their daughters. But even for women whose fathers had been neglectful or abusive I found they had a hunger for approval.”Dr. Peggy Drexler, Ph.D., author of Our Fathers, Ourselves (2011)
We are all hungry for approval. But, what if your relationship “filter” was built around disapproval. In the depth of your soul you may be carrying a nagging feeling of disapproval. If this is you, it’s important to do emotional-spiritual work in this area.
I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.Ezekiel 36:26 (NIV)
Father, I work hard and do lots of good. I make things happen. I never give up or quit. But, I don’t have deep rest in my soul. Instead, I carry a lingering feeling of falling short and disapproval. Please fill me with your love and acceptance. Amen