Most men struggle with the concept of Staying Present. When a conversation gets difficult men flood with fear. Let’s review why.
HIS THOUGHTS
- My wife thinks I am emotionally mature. I am not. And, if I stay, she’s about to find out.
- She thinks I am strong. But, I see myself as a struggler.
- My mind starts racing and flooding with thoughts. Then, anxiety.
- Staying present is very stressful because my wife is about to disclose some of her old, heavy, lifelong pain. How do I respond? I’ve barely touched my own.
- I hate when my wife is in her pain. I don’t know how to act or what to say.
- Going into a deep-pain-filled-dialogue is very scary.
- Deep conversations lead to being emotional and vulnerable. I don’t do vulnerable.
HIS DEEPEST FEAR
If you know me you will be disappointed. You won’t like me. And, in the end you will leave me like everyone else.
HIS OLD SOLUTIONS
- First. I try avoiding, ignoring, playing dumb or running away.
- Second, I try things like being funny, looking lost or getting angry.
- Third, I try to speed things up and jump to the end.
I’ve found escaping, day dreaming and fantasizing are so much easier.
HIS NEW THOUGHTS
- It’s time for me to be “ALL-IN” these conversations.
- I must figure out how to stay present.
- Loving is scary. Being present is scary. Staying present is scary. Vulnerability is scary
HIS PRAYER
Father, being present, available and open, scares me to death. But, not being open and present is stunting me and killing my relationships. I need a new template. Please, help we with a template for staying present, bonding and oneness. Amen.