What’s the difference between business talking and relationship talking? I have several friends in sales. These individuals are fabulous at selling their products. They use business talking.
Business talking goes like this. Suppose a man has a problem. The salesperson listens briefly. Then tells him a solution to his problem. The focus is fast, finding, and fixing problems. The man brings up another problem. The salesperson swoops in with another solution. The pattern repeats. Every problem gets a fast solution.
Relationship Talking is different. Your wife expresses a struggle. Here are some Relationship Talking skills.
- Remember that the goal is learning not fixing.
- Immediately create a safe space.
- Silently repeat, “Go slow.”
- Move toward being curious.
- Let the conversation go deeper.
- Ask her to keep talking.
- Stay interested.
- Follow her lead.
- Again, it’s not about fixing.
- Trust the process.
- Remember, saying less is better than fixing.
- Stay present.
- Acknowledge that she knows the issue.
- Let her lead the conversation.
- Inwardly ask God for wisdom.
- Believe she will get where she needs to go.
- Just being present is your gift.
- Always show empathy.
Relationship Talking is part of the process of two becoming one.
Prayer
Father, help me grow in the skill of relationship talking. I want to be helpful, but sometimes I make a mess. I talk too much. And I fix too much. Please give me wisdom. Help me grow closer to my wife through Relationship Talking. Amen.
Bible
Even an ignorant fool, when he keeps silent, is considered wise; When he closes his lips, he is considered understanding. – Proverbs 17:28 (LSB)
Like apples of gold in settings of silver Is a word spoken in right circumstances. – Proverbs 25:11 (LSB)