“I have needed the approval of others for as long as I can remember.”

As an adult, I’ve begun to explore what fuels this deep need for approval. Below are a few reflections to consider as you examine your own longing to be seen, valued, and affirmed.

Thought #1

I know all my weaknesses and shortcomings. When you like me, it reassures me that my flaws are not big enough to keep you from being my friend.

Thought #2

I have long craved the approval of leaders. I’ve wanted people in positions of power to notice me and affirm that I am unique and valued.

Thought #3

I’ve desired the approval of the “attractive” or admired people in a group. If they see me and affirm me, it feels like my value increases.

Thought #4

I’ve wanted the approval of church leaders. Since they are seen as workers of God, their affirmation has felt like proof that I am spiritually acceptable—maybe even “good.”

Thought #5

If I am seen and included, then I belong. And belonging makes life feel safer—especially in a group, community, or fellowship.

Thought #6

Growing up, I saw myself as the slow kid with no obvious talent. So I learned to become a pleaser and a fixer. If people needed me, maybe they would keep me—and even learn to enjoy me.

Thought #7

I am deeply aware of my flaws, failures, and weaknesses. Too often, I let them define me. I don’t always see myself as very good—but that’s not how I want you to see me.

Closing Reflection

We all want to be seen and loved—that’s healthy. But a desperate need for the approval of others may signal: a quiet dislike of self.

Prayer

Father, thank You for seeing me, knowing me, and loving me. Please help me move from emotional unworthiness, to these spiritual truths- being chosen, given grace and forgiven. I love you. Amen

Scripture

Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.

Isaiah 43:1 (NIV)