Two thoughts

First, I love God, Jesus, the church and my Bible. Second, I carry hurtful childhood memories. Stories I would rather forget, but those memories are still connected to ugly pain. And, I have some anger that lives deep in my soul.

As a Christian, how do you integrate these two thoughts?

I try to just be spiritual, I worship and praise, I sing and read the scriptures, I belong to a group, and I go to church regularly. But I still have pain in my soul. I wonder, will I have to live divided all my life? I know I can be a good spiritual being, but I also want to be a healthy and happy emotional being.

Writer Janet O. Hagberg had a similar experience. She made said, “I am learning to not be afraid of being afraid.” I take that to mean it was time to stop being afraid and venture into my old pain.

To live emotionally free you must venture into the stories of your past. Those stories are walls you must overcome. As a Christian, we take our spiritual tools and we wade into mucky old emotional stories. That is where we fight. But the adult fight is much different than the childhood fight. We go back into our past as adults, and we never fight alone. Father, Jesus, and Holy Spirit go back with us into the old stories.

We take with us into the past, our maturity, greater self awareness, and adult insights. We also take the spiritual tools of forgiveness, grace, and mercy. We forgive ourselves first. Then we forgive others.

Prayer

Father, I want peace in my soul. I don’t want any old story to have power over me. And, I’m tired of old, nagging inner torment. So, I will ask again. Father, help me have peace in my soul. The thought of inner peace thrills me. Thank you. And, Jesus I come to you for help. I release my old stories and painful memories to you. Amen.

Bible Connection

Jesus said,  “Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. – Matthew 11:29 (LSB)