The world seems to be divided into two types of people. They are Attachers and Detachers.
As a general rule the attachers are females. And, detachers are males. These posts are written for men who desire emotional growth and insight.
Here are some of the emotional skills used by detachers.
- Getting defensive – when he wants her to stop talking
- Being half-present – that’s his level of interest
- When a wife says “Let’s talk.” he starts getting upset
- Shows little interest in working through differences
- Regularly escapes into an alone place
- She starts talking and he responds, “Why are you doing this to me?”
- Shows no interest in working through her emotional struggles
- Avoids deep emotional dialogues
- Has no desire to talk about his emotional life
- Makes lots of decisions alone
- Prefers simple, logical solutions
- Stays private. He thinks, “No one really needs to know me.”
- Struggles to understand or connect with his wife’s feelings
- And, has a limited range of emotions. His favorites include getting upset and acting out in anger.
This is not an exhaustive list. The goal of this post is twofold. First, so a detached man can check himself against this list. Second, so a spouse can have greater insights into detachment. A topic she may want to further explore.
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two. will become one flesh.Ephesians 5:31
(One in mind, body, and soul)
Father, marriage is hard work. We are so different. You call us to operate out of love and patience. The goal of oneness is hard to achieve. Please bless me/us with strength, wisdom, and understanding on this quest. Amen