There is a struggle that is sometimes expressed.

In a moment of honesty and vulnerability, a man might express the following:

“I do not have many close male friends. I struggle to reach out to other men. I don’t trust them.”

I began to wonder what kind of thinking lives underneath those statements.

“If I tell others, I will look weak.”

(I must always appear strong.)

“I don’t want to bother other men.”

(They don’t have time for me.)

“Men have their own problems.”

(They don’t want to hear mine.)

“No one can really help me.”

(Others won’t understand me.)

“I have to do this alone.”

(I’ve always done things alone.)

“I already know what to do.”

(I’ll just do the same old thing — harder.)

“I hate looking weak.”

(Being emotional or vulnerable feels weak.)

“No one wants to really know me.”

(No one ever has.)

Close:

All of these thoughts are really saying the same thing:

“I have never had meaningful relationships with other men.”

Isolation is familiar and connection feels risky.

Prayer:

Father, I’m afraid to be open and vulnerable. I need the help and support of other men, but it scares me. Bless me and guide me.  Amen.

Scripture:

“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds… encouraging one another.”

Heb. 10:24-25. NIV