When you tell another adult what to do, or how to fix their situation, you often just irritate them.

We’ve all experienced people who are constantly telling you how to fix a problem. It’s annoying and exhausting. Why? Because, you talk for ten minutes, then, suddenly they are an expert. They understand you! Even when you don’t understand you. They understand the other person. While you are still putting the pieces together. And, they think they understand the history, context, and background of your story. How could they?

In their hurry to be useful, they give simple, obvious answers.

It would be more helpful to try the following actions:

• Ask more questions.
• Invite the speaker to talk and go deeper into the story.
• Just sit with the person in pain and disappointment.
• Let the speaker thrash around a bit.

Then say, things like this:

• I’m sorry you’re going through that.
• That sounds hard.
• That’s a lot to carry.
• And, pray for wisdom.