Wives often ask this question, “How do I know if my husband is really changing?“

Here’s my simple answer: Look for two things:

• Is he using new language?
• Is he practicing new behaviors?

That’s it.

Is he using NEW LANGUAGE?

Listen for statements like:

• “That was old me. This is new me.”
• “I used to think that way.”
• “I’m learning more about myself.”
• “I’ve been emotionally stunted.
• “I’m trying to listen more deeply.”
• “I’m learning to be okay with sadness.”
• “I need to slow myself down.”
• “I’m working on patience.”
• “I need to learn anger management.”
• “Let me tell you something I just learned.”
• “The topic at my group tonight was…”
• “This is going to be a long journey, but I’m committed.”

New language often reveals new thinking.

Is he practicing NEW BEHAVIORS?

Look for changes in what he stops and what he starts.

For example:

• Prays and reads his Bible
• Reads a devotional with you
• Starts journaling
• Meets regularly with other men
• Joins a growth or recovery group
• Listens to podcasts about growth
• Reads books on personal development
• Finds a mentor, counselor, or coach
• Attends conferences or training
• Leads in pursuing growth opportunities
• Attends a men’s retreat
• Begins walking a path of spiritual and emotional growth

Close:

Real growth includes ups and downs. There will be starts and stops. But the key sign of change is this: He’s committing to growth.

Prayer:

Father, please help me grow and change. Transform my heart so I can be a servant, like Jesus. Amen.

Scripture:

“Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.”     Col. 3:9–10 (NIV)