A wife will report. My husband says he’s changing. But how do I know if he really is working on growth and change? Over time change is obvious. But what are the first, essential steps of change? Or, said slightly differently. What are the top four areas that show a husband is on a pathway towards change?

Look for New Behaviors:

He joins a group. Faithfully attends. Finds an accountability person. Meets regularly with a pastor, coach or counselor. He shares more through dialogue and hides less.

Listen for New Language -He says:

I have no peace in my soul. I don’t know how to rest. I am good at running away and escaping. I don’t know how to sit and be kind to myself. I am an avoider.

Does he have a New Vision? (It will be expressed by owning his old vision)

I have been living detached. I have overdeveloped parts of myself and underdeveloped other parts. I live a very shallow life. I am not good at going deep.

Is he expressing New Concepts?

I don’t understand my own emotions. How could I possibly understand yours? I don’t know how to connect. I know a lot but I have no idea how to rest. I have never felt like I mattered. I overvalue others and undervalue myself.

Why this matters

Individuals working in the above areas indicates growth and change.

Prayer

Father, please bless me with the wonderful peace that transcends all human understanding and guards my heart and mind in Christ Jesus. Amen.

Bible verse

then God’s wonderful peace that transcends human understanding, will guard your heart and mind through Jesus Christ. – Philippians 4:7 (TPT)