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Equipping Christian Men for Richer Relationships

I Need to Change

A struggling husband once announced his goal, “I need to change.” He was then challenged to examine his language.

If you repeat a clear goal, your brain will help you move toward it. But if your goal is unclear, your brain gets confused and does nothing. When you say, “I need to change,” your brain is unmotivated.

Why?

Your brain thinks: “You used to be in school, and now you have a job. You used to be younger, and now you are older. You are already changing.” So it does nothing.

There is another problem with the words “I need to.” Those words usually mean not today, but someday. Someday I need to start changing. Someday I need to work on myself.

Your brain hears: “Someday I need to not be who I am.” In the confusion, the brain does not engage the request.

Here is better language for the husband to repeat: “Today, I am working on emotional growth.” He should repeat that statement every day. In doing so, he trains his brain. He is essentially saying: “Bring me new thoughts, insights, and behaviors that relate to emotional growth.”

Side Note- To expand his brain training, he might repeat this: “Today, I am working on emotional, spiritual, and physical growth.”

Close:

Today your assignment is to tell your brain, your spirit, and the Holy Spirit: “Today, I am working on emotional, spiritual, and physical growth.”

Prayer:

Father, thank you for growth, change, and transformation. Make me more like Jesus. Holy Spirit, please show me the way. Amen.

Scripture:

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” –Rom. 12:2 (NIV)

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Posted on

July 3, 2026

by

Stephen Cervantes

20260404
Doctor Marriage

© 2026, Doctor Marriage, inc.

Created by Greater Lessons

All content copyright © 2026, Doctor Marriage, inc. unless otherwise specified, or included as fair use. No content on this website is intended to treat or diagnose any mental health issues. The content on this website is intended for educational purposes only.

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